Today, hundreds of excited teens descended upon my high school in order to pick up schedules and books. After trying to help during the onset of said pandemonium, I was not given a task. So, I promptly returned to my secluded classroom and worked on oodles of things. Well, about halfway through the day, one of my students came by to see me. Our conversation started off perfectly fine; however, it quickly descended into the realm of insanity. I was schooled. Schooled in the ways of science.
me: “Look at the bird feeder. The birds didn’t eat any over the summer. They hate the stuff I bought and now I am stuck with two bags of bird feed.”
student: “You need to feed them steak.”
me: “I don’t think birds are carnivores.”
student: “Birds love steak. I bet they’d eat the steak.”
me: “It’s been scientifically proven that birds are not carnivores.”
student: “We need to put a squirrel feeder out there. We should put steak in it.”
me: “Um, I don’t think squirrels eat meat either.”
student: “Sure they do. They’ll get all big and bulky and awesome.”
me: “Well, there you have it.”
So, needless to say, it is going to be a wonderful school year filled with hilarity, quotes, and meat-eating birds and squirrels. Bring. It. On.